Live Loved

For the past six months I have written updates on my challenges and progress in recovery.  This is the first time I have looked back to the days immediately after it was decided that it was not my time to die.    I planned to join my brother “Max” and Tom Craig Tuesday morning on the final kayak expedition for their second book. I texted Max my ETA at his place, approximately 9pm Monday night. When my housemate came home he saw my car in the driveway, and my cell phone charging inside. He correctly assumed I had gone out on my bicycle and incorrectly assumed I would be home soon. I came back into consciousness a few days later, in UF Hospital's intensive care unit. I woke gently as if from a night’s sleep. Looking down at my body, I saw evidence of multiple injuries far worse than any I had ever sustained before. What the pain medication didn’t numb, felt achy all over. Although I didn’t remember the accident, I remembered setting out o...

I have not been online much lately- again. When I stay off the computer at night, I tend to go to bed earlier, sleep better and rise to seize the relative cool of morning. It’s very helpful in helping me have peace and stay on course. The part I regret is that I’ve communicated and reached out less. Decades of personal and social healing work have taught me the value of close relationships. I like the way this is expressed in the Nguni word “Ubuntu," the view that “I am who I am because of who you are.” I regret that in a time like this, I haven't found time to call dear ones. At the same time I trust that this season has its wisdom too. Isolation has become solitude and has nurtured self intimacy. The strange land I’ve seen the past 7 months has inspired me to reflect and gain new awareness. Although I still prefer and recommend companionship, I imagine that some legs of the spiritual journey must be traveled solo. If it sounds like my mind spends its ...