Solitutde, Connection and Momentum

I have not been online much lately- again. When I stay off the computer at night, I tend to go to bed earlier, sleep better and rise to seize the relative cool of morning. It’s very helpful in helping me have peace and stay on course. The part I regret is that I’ve communicated and reached out less. Decades of personal and social healing work have taught me the value of close relationships. I like the way this is expressed in the Nguni word “Ubuntu," the view that “I am who I am because of who you are.” I regret that in a time like this, I haven't found time to call dear ones. At the same time I trust that this season has its wisdom too. Isolation has become solitude and has nurtured self intimacy. The strange land I’ve seen the past 7 months has inspired me to reflect and gain new awareness. Although I still prefer and recommend companionship, I imagine that some legs of the spiritual journey must be traveled solo. If it sounds like my mind spends its time ever in lofty places, it ain't so. Recovering from my accident, my thoughts and perceptions have been concerned with my body. Exercise, eat, sleep, repeat. I expend energy in the pool, at the gym, in PT, on my yoga mat, and in my yard. Properly worn, I get quality sleep. After quality sleep, better performance, moods and attitudes result. Local friends and acquaintances notice my progress and tell me “You have come a long way!” They smile and express joy "to see you doing so well." One friend said: “Wow, you must just feel victorious and empowered!” I responded: “Sometimes.” I mean yes, I am buoyed by awareness of my progress. I also want to say: “Trust me it still isn’t all fun and victories!”... I still hurt, I still have fears, and struggles. I still need for empathy and friendship. I’m not over it, and it’s not over. So I express this too.
My physical therapist Brittany told me “the good news that the worst is behind you. The bad news is that you will have to work hard to get smaller gains and to continue making progress. Fortunately I am still hungry to get better. I think how fortunate I am to have resources available for recovery. Living in Gainesville, I have daily access to a huge pool. I have weight machines and trainers at the gym. I have fantastic support from physical therapists. I’m just beginning a more intense course for speech therapy. Gainesville has also shown me rich and diverse forms of spiritual fellowship. Despite access here to many things I need, I am still a relative stranger. Before the accident, I was preparing my house for sale. I intended to relocate for other ministry opportunities. In the early phases of recovery, moving was out of the equation. As I’ve healed, I begun looking beyond this locale for ministerial opportunities. Fortunately, I have grown in acceptance and appreciation of where I am now. My body, my mind, and my attitude have all been improving. I’m pleased to have made it this far, and growing my stamina for the continued work that lies ahead of me. I'm keeping in my mind, a future that includes walking, working, travel, opportunities to contribute and utilize accumulated gifts, also dancing, nature and other adventures. My daily mantra: "Full recovery, .. I am on my way!" Thank you so much for seeing me down this road!

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