Championship Season

There has been an online conversation about me for two months. Until recently I was silent. It was not humility nor restraint that kept me quiet. Aphasia caused by a head injury was responsible. In the first days, a head injury blocked me from speaking. Soon garbled words came and then a few clear ones.  Weeks later in rehab, I was diagnosed with mild anomic aphasia.  My speech therapist pleased with my cognition said it suggest an excellent prognosis.  My speech and communication have now come a long way!  Though far from healed, my speech is generally understandable.  
The journey from near death into rehabilitation has been wonderous!  Beginning with a state of shock and grief at the harm sustained by my body, I came to cherish most every little bit of healing.  Recovery rocks!
In Rehab I enjoyed daily gains that kept me excited and enthusiastic.  I also seemed to have the homefield advantage, a cheering section of a hospital staff continually encouraged me: “Amazing! Inspiring! Fantastic!
 Returning home became possible because my brother stepped up to be primary caregiver.  Soon came a year end flurry of home care physical therapy visits.  Sweeter yet, friends gifted me with some yummy vegan meals.  All these enabled me to remain focus on recovery, and progress has continued.  This journey has filled with little miracles. 
Greater still than the spectacle of a healing body, has been the gift of post traumatic spiritual benefits.
With staggering loss of physical capacities, I find that I’m taken less for granted.  I find myself thinking of what is most important in life.  Most of all, I find myself blown away by the outpouring of love and care.  It has stretched me to accept being the recipient of so much time, effort, resource and most of all, love.  Receiving the love and care from you, my friends and family made it much harder for me to feel sorry for myself.  Your care reached into me in the places where pain, fear, loneliness and grief were established.  Experiencing vulnerability led me to open to a tenderness within me. 
Prayers too contributed to my post trauma spiritual benefits.  Prayers were offered by friends and family, in homes, Jewish, Buddhist, Christian and Unitarian Universalist communities, … among activist colleagues and even strangers.  One of my favorite hymns goes “somebody prayed for me.”  Having lived this experience brought to tears of joy and changed my sense of connection to a universal fellowship of which I am a part. 
Yet another miracle shift in my heart came through my encounter of the fear, grief and distress that was shared by dear ones impacted by the news of my accident.  My ego is still wrestling with this one. Mostly love is winning.  I will not deny the impact of encountering and feeling this love.  It has certainly given me strength to step forward onto the long road to recovery.
I hope none of my words suggest that I am always confidant or happy.   I want my words to reveal both the agony and the bliss of this journey.  I have never known greater physical pain, and it quickly became obvious that I could not afford to be sloppy with my consciousness.  The harm of the accident is and will be substantial.  Clearly challenges lie ahead.  Perhaps it is good news that I stand in knowledge of my need for outside help.  Certainly, it is good news that see blessings and love offered to me, and that I have faith to face the unfolding of what is to come.   

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