It's all about who?


Sitting in the small dimly lit eye exam room another post traumatic gift arrived.  Dr H seemed warm and welcoming from the start.   He introduced himself as Stephen.  As he shook my hand, his eyes cast a calmness out to my soul.  In between the various eye tests, he asked questions about my condition and what I had been through.    
I’ve become accustomed to people asking me questions since the accident.  I guess the cast jetting out in front of my wheelchair invites conversations.   Many begin with joke: “Did you kick somebody?”   My come back, “I was hit by a truck.” catches them off guard. Usually their shock is followed by signs of concern.  Then, well apparently questions are like Lays potato chips.  No one can ask just one.  Me, not known for short answers, I respond with stories.  Oddly, it doesn’t deter people from asking more questions.    
Fielding Dr H’s questions, I climbed up an invisible mic and went “on the air.”  From questions about my brain injury, I jumped into stories about achievements from my rehab journey.  Fortunately, something about his gentle voice called me to a more personal level of response.  I trusted his care.  Then as quickly as I had stepped up to the mic, the scene and script changed.      
“My buddy Jake lives in Maine, he began.  He has early stage Parkinsons Disease.  He went in for surgery.  He had bleeding at his brain stem.  He hasn’t been able to talk much yet.  He has been in the hospital for 45 days now, almost as long as you spent there.   Your story inspires me and gives me hope, he said.  I am going tell him about meeting you.”  
Not missing a beat, he informed that he was about to place drops in my eyes.  While the stun of his friend’s lot was still fresh with me, Steven left me to allow some minutes for my eyes to dialate before he would return to complete the final portion of the exam. 
This space to feel was another gift.  It enabled a flow of tears. It may sound strange, but I cherish that flow because it helped me break through to a beautiful space in my heart.  When I was chattering, my consciousness was in such a small place.  Tears were an outward sign of an inward expansion. 
No doubt the news about Jake contains grief and suffering.  I’m guessing that Steve and Jake have probably been buddies for many years.  So quickly, life changes.  My recent experience makes clear to me that many people beyond Jake, are feeling it.   

Perhaps this connectedness is the beauty that moved me to awe and gratitude.  Touching upon suffering, I was transformed to be able embrace life.  It was another post traumatic gift.   You may say it is a reflection of my faith.  I did bring me to a very familiar and tender experience of connection and relationship to an indescribable Oneness that I refer to as G*d. However, I also suspect it was a move from illusion to reality.  It’s the reality that Steve Allen expressed by saying “despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?” 

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